User blog:TheDarkSide857/Chuck Norris Feat Log
NOTE: Keep in mind, I'm gonna do this in the same format as Christian Higdon. Summary EDITED CHUCK NORRIS FACT INCOMING: ...Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that summaries summarize him and are not Chuck Norris-ized by him instead. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Here are the fact sourcesfor anyone that's wondering. Also, download the PDF Chuck Norris Fact Book. What are the Chuck Norris Facts? Chuck Norris facts are satirical factoids/jokes that are actually the progeny of the similar Vin Diesel jokes originated from the Something Awful comedy website's forums in early 2005, believe it or not. These Vin Diesel jokes were developed in response to his film The Pacifier. After a few months, the Vin Diesel jokes were completely phased out in favor of Chuck Norris. A possible inspiration for this may have been Late Night with Conan O'Brien, where the show's titular host, Conan O'Brien, at one point regularly stated Chuck Norris jokes that centered on Walker, Texas Ranger. Due to the popularity of this phenomenon, several other progeny of the Chuck Norris facts have spawned from their ancestor, like Shaggy, Phil Swift, Waluigi, and Ricardo Milos. NO 0 TO MEMETIC FEATS THIS WILL ONLY COUNT FEATS OF PHYSICAL STRENGTH Feats & Tiering Chuck Norris levels an entire city "Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground." Easily 7-B. Highballed, should be 7-A. Chuck Norris shoots down a fighter plane "Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"" Should be 9-A to 8-C. Chuck Norris kicks a Pluto-sized mass of soldiers into space "Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face." Should be at least 5-C. Chuck Norris creates the universe "In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe." Likely 3-A, possibly Low 2-C. Chuck Norris is supposedly the Sun "Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth." Possibly High 4-C via size alone. Chuck Norris beats the sun in a staring contest "Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest." Also High 4-C, but possibly higher into it. Chuck Norris is Bruce Banner's final form "When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run." Given the Hulk's feats which are 4-B, should be up to 4-A, 3-B if highballed since if the Hulk is leagues stronger than Banner, then Chuck Norris is leagues stronger than the Hulk. Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee would have possibly destroyed the universe if they fought "Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee never actually fought onscreen. If they had, the universe would have imploded and we all would have been vaporized." Since Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee are two people, and the observable universe contains about 100 billion galaxies, and that number is likely to increase to 200 billion as telescope technology in space improves, then Chuck Norris would have destroyed 50 billion to 100 billion galaxies in his fight with Bruce Lee destroying the universe, which would make him pretty far into 3-B. Chuck Norris's heart causes earthquakes every time it beats "Chuck Norris's pulse is measured on the Richter scale." Depending on the VS Battles Wiki Earthquake Power Chart, total seismic energy of the heart should range from High 8-C to 6-A. Chuck Norris causes tornados with his sneezes "There is no such thing as a tornado- only the aftermath of a Chuck Norris sneeze." Given the tornado's tier, 8-A. Chuck Norris creates the universe (this will basically become an extension of the first universe-creating feat, right?) "Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang was roughly equal to 1 CNRK: One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick." Easily 3-A, possibly Low 2-C. Chuck Norris eats black holes "Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken." Because of the black holes' tiers, 5-B to High 4-C. Chuck Norris creates the Grand Canyon "Chuck Norris went skydiving once but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough." Likely High 7-A, 6-C via highballing. Chuck Norris is the teacher of Shaggy Given Shaggy's top tier, should be 1-A. Overall Tier: 5-C to 3-B (Kicked a Pluto-sized mass of soldiers into space, has 12 moons, including the Earth, beat the Sun in a staring contest, and is capable of eating black holes. Is what the Hulk transforms into if he gets mad, and since the Hulk is leagues stronger than Bruce Banner, Chuck Norris is leagues stronger than the Hulk. Would have destroyed the universe along with Bruce Lee if they had actually fought, and since Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee are two people, and the observable universe contains about 100 billion galaxies, which is likely to increase to 200 billion as telescope technology in space improves, then Chuck Norris would have destroyed 50 billion to 100 billion galaxies in his fight with Bruce Lee destroying the universe), likely 3-A, possibly Low 2-C (Kicked nothingness and told it to get a job, and likely created the universe in the process because he's Chuck Norris. This was later scientifically proven correct when scientists estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang was roughly equal to 1 CNRK: One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick), goes up to 1-A (Is the teacher of Shaggy) Category:Blog posts